I Hate Change...

I hate change!

That is my confession for the day.

I guess it would seem like a bitter irony then that we are missionaries & our lives are surrounded by constant change!

But God has been faithful through it all even in my moments of insanity due to the changes.

It seems that for the past month, almost nothing has went according to plan!

Christmas plans faded as children became sick.

New Year's plans drifted into the sky as sickness was still present.

And now, life will revolve around the politics that are consuming this nation.

So we wait....

We make plans not knowing which will go as planned & which will be changed again.

Will Imanuel's birthday party go as planned on Saturday or will there be riots & protests that prohibit his guest from safely arriving?

Will there be any of the staples I need the next time I go to buy groceries?

It is often unnerving when you lack control.

It is often frightening, when you don't have independence or security.

We must put our faith & hope in God... but that is often harder than it sounds.

Being the one who is walking in complete faith in God is easy once the miracle has happened.

The hard part is having that faith when nothing has happened yet!

Being the voice of encouragement & belief in a sea of anxiety & skepticism.... that is daunting.

I tend to keep myself focused with lists.

Yes, I am a list maker.

I LOVE lists!

List give me a feeling of control... like I have a plan!

But list are no good if you never refer back to them.

( Or in my case, your husband loses them or leaves them at home!)

Right now I am overwhelmed with the desire to make lists.

Lists of things I need to accomplish... Lists of things I want to do in my house... Goals I have...

Lists of things we need to plan for with upcoming teams.... Lists of miracles that I want to see God do.... And the list goes on.....

I think my desire to make these lists is because I am overwhelmed with anticipation for the upcoming year!

Normally, I don not feel this strange feeling deep inside at the start of a new year.

However, after the past 2 years of jam pack craziness that we have experienced, from the bus accident to doctors to itinerating to another overseas move....

I can honestly say that I am walking into 2013 with great anticipation & expectancy!

Our life has been one big story of constant change!

There have been moments of wonderful & moments of not so great.

I am looking forward to 2013 as being a year of blessing.

God knows our hearts & the desires there in...

What are you believing God for in 2013?

I may not be able to change the fact that "change" is inevitable.

I might not have any control over politics or the foods that stock the grocery store shelves,

Yet, I have all of the confidence that God has big plans for our family.

I have found that in the past when I have made lists, and later referred back to them...

that everything I had written...

every item I needed before a big move or the new clothes our boys needed....

each item had been checked off!

In my moments of worry, because something had changed yet again... God was still working on our behalf.  He even knew the things on my list!

So for 2013, I will be making many more lists...

But none will compare to the list of worries, frustrations, desires, & needs that I am able to give to God.

How cool that He never loses our lists or leaves them at home!

He knows the desires of our hearts & desires to bless us!

May we be content in the craziness of change!